We think we are indestructible, after all we are strong and we no matter how ill we feel or how weak we have become, we always seem to be able to bounce right back and continue to do what we do.
But once in a while, something like a death in the family hits us and stops everything in our tracks.
Then we feel that we are after all only mere human beings.
The topic of death has been hanging over our heads for a period now and only just recently, I had a chat with Daddy about what we want and how we want our own deaths to be handled. Thankfully, Daddy and I both agree on this:
When we die, we do not want any big drama mama to be performed nor do we want Cheryl, or our descendants to be burdened with the "rituals". Both of us want our bodies to be cremated and our ashes scattered out at sea. Are we "cruel" to even rob Cheryl of the one and only way she can of showing her filial piety; praying on Qing Ming Festival and all? Well, it's not that. We have come to realise that it is really not that important what happens to us after death. If we have a place in her, it will be in her heart and we live on in her memories and if we are lucky enough, in her children's memories.
I have been thinking of getting a will done so that our wishes will be clearly stated and there will be no arguments when we are no longer around.
Several months ago, I read an article about how a dying husband sat his wife down to prepare for his own death because he did not want her to do it alone after he was gone and carry that burden on her own in the midst of her grief and all. I think he was really loving because he could not bear to have her bear that weight on her shoulders in her weakest moment.
Death as birth, is part and parcel of the cycle of life and just like we welcome every birth, I guess we have to embrace the grief of losing a loved one and move on.
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